What is your personal definition of success? And why should it be your definition?
If we are to buy into the messages we're bombarded with, it may appear success is about how much we have in the bank, the number of followers we have, or even what we have achieved by a certain age. While there's nothing wrong with these things in themselves - are they standalone measures of true success?
There are numerous dangers in focusing on what others tell us equates to success. Not only do they have their own motivations, their view may not be realistic and we can easily feel disheartened if we look at where we are and assume we don't measure up. This can lead us to question what we're doing and whether we are 'good enough.’ We can lose our confidence and drive, maybe even giving up on our ambitions and dreams altogether because we're not yet where we 'should' be.
Are we successful only when others say we are? History is full of examples of those now considered 'successful' who wouldn't be where they are if they had listened to all the 'no's' and knock-backs they received throughout their journey. It's also full of examples of people who may appear to have it all on the outside, but who are not truly happy.
Michelle Obama famously said: "Success isn't about how much money you make, it's about the difference you make in people's lives." Wise words, especially for those who possess strong intrinsic motivators that go beyond a monetary value. That being said, finding a way to monetise our skills to sustain our work and make a difference, is an important accomplishment. However again, that doesn't necessarily mean we’re successful.
The truth is - there is no single factor that defines success but a combination of factors that make the difference. So why is it important to take the time to define what success means to each of us? Why does it matter to create a personal success definition?
A personal definition is valuable for a number of reasons. Here are just three:
#1 Your definition is likely to change over time as your life circumstances shift, you develop yourself, and you become aware of what's important to you and the priorities that give your life meaning now. If you have a growth mind-set, change will be inevitable and welcomed.
#2 When it's your definition of success, it helps you avoid comparing yourself to others. This is dangerous because not only do each of us face unique circumstances, but what we see others achieving is only the tip of the iceberg. We have no idea what it’s taken to reach that point, what else is going on in their lives, or even if they're truly fulfilled.
#3 It's your life, and your journey. It's valuable to get inspiration, ideas and advice from others, but ultimately, you must make the final decisions of which path to take, and you will be the one to experience the results of those choices. Your life experiences have shaped you to this point and you possess unique strengths that only you can offer.
The beauty is - you have greater control than it may appear, a generous range of options, and endless creative license. This allows you to be more flexible, less hard on yourself, and to stop focusing purely on the end goal but rather, to enjoy the journey. To 'be'. Along the way, you may decide to take a different path to what you originally intended, or even to change your destination altogether. And that's ok. Because you define and create your success.
So - is it time to re-think your personal definition?